Tag Archives : Self


A Reading on the Ego: Presence is the Death of Ego

 

A client came to me with questions surrounding “Death of the Ego”. For the most part, the query was open-ended. The client’s Masters, Teachers and Loved Ones were very enthusiastic and conversational about sharing this information on the Ego, providing their response in multiple voices (in various vibrations), resulting in hurried typing, numerous typos (which I have done my best to clean up), and practically no time for me to “think” or pose follow-up questions. Still, I think the response is clear. For me, the reading was eye-opening and instructive.

Towards the end, I did manage to slip in one question about Ascension into 5D Consciousness during a lull near the end of the reading. For those of you who’re curious, make sure you scroll down to read information as well. 

This time, the client was kind enough to allow me to copy-and-paste this information to this blog for others to benefit. The reading follows in bold text. 

Here’s wishing you all health, wellness, light and love.

Death of the Ego

You used the words “death of the ego” in your initial query to your reader and these words most aptly sum up the situation you are experiencing.

Here’s the thing with death. Ego is the entity who fears death. While the rest of the universe sees death as a period of rest or darkness or pause between breaths of life, the ego sees it as the final end of itself.

This is why you hold so much resistance.  

Humanity is actually extremely interesting because of the individual’s relationship with ego. It is also interesting to observe how quickly or easily a person can succumb to the base fight-or-flight responses that the ego provides during times of stress and survival. Animals have a relationship with their ego too. (Humans have not really accepted this knowledge, but it is Truth.) Animals have a relationship with their ego too. Their egos are their lifetime companion who assist them in times of danger, death, illness and even while hunting or searching for nourishment. (The ego plays a storytelling/strategic role here, which we will get to.) The difference is that the relationship does not fall out of balance. (Most of the time. There are cases when an animal will lose himself to these “instincts” and will demonstrate lack of balance due to a bacterial infection or other disturbance to the brain, for example.)

The relationship between the animal-Being and the its ego is relatively balanced. The Source-animal acknowledges that He inhabits a material body, and comes with ego. There is no “thought”, “analysis” or judgment. Just response. Let’s just say, they come as a package deal.

In humanity, the ego-person relationship is interesting to observe, because their relationship grows out of balance. There’s a Thinker and the Observer, observing the thought. There’s the Source-being and the thinking-Ego that generates thoughts, labels, judgments, categories and sometimes more labels (to ensure the survival of its Egoic “race”).  

We know, this can sound confusing. But Ego is very Darwinian: all about multiplication and proliferation to protect against the possibility of Ego-genocide. All about erasing anything that presents a possible threat to its (possession—another Ego fantasy) self (another possessive word that comes from egoic thinking).

This is where You (and we will capitalize the word You, so you know we are referring to the Source-You and not the you defined by the ego. (Ego typically calls himself Me when he’s referring to the label that he has put on You, reducing You to me.) [Editor’s note: The reading continues, so I don’t know how the paragraph ends.]

What you are experiencing now is that your ego has made you possessive of Me. You have an Ego who is battling for its dear life and identity on your behalf. Not aware that You were and are, regardless of its presence.

Remember those old movies where someone would get shot, and they would writhe and moan and deliver a 10-minute speech before dying? That’s Ego. DRAMA!

Truth is. Only when you think, can we say with absolute certainty that Ego is present. Source-You IS, regardless of thinking.

Letting go presents only a threat to ego, not You—but ego won’t let you believe that for a minute. Therefore bringing about your “feelings” (another Ego word; Ego uses that when it wants to trick You into believing that “thinking” had nothing to do with it) of resistance.

One clue to be aware that your Ego is doing all the thinking, and not You (You doesn’t think, rather … You simply IS—we know it’s awkward to express this to you with human and English grammatical structure) is this: When your language qualifies things with adjectives and descriptions that boil down to whether you/ego think something is good or bad.

  • “I’m not ready to die. Dying is bad, because I haven’t yet had my first kiss.”
  • “This or that food is not healthy. It will make me feel bad and look bad. It will kill me.”
  • “The teacher loves Bobby more than she loves me. She always gives him special treatment, and it hurts my feelings.”
  • “If I had only listened, I wouldn’t be in this situation.”

Ego thrives on the illusion of endurance, eternity.

Presence is the death of the ego.

Ego panics when it thinks it’s being released, because for ego, its momentary death is forever. Ego has to build itself up over and over again. Ego never gives up.

Source is. Ego is Not.

Ego thrives in the stories of if, could and should—which is why humanity is infinitely interesting and amusing and full of creative potential. (Because of the stories that they can weave.) Unfortunately for you, because you identify with the creations of your Ego, you move with the judgments that Ego carries with it: “All these years, you have worked to rid yourself of Me, but you can’t live without Me. You’ll never survive! Who’s going to save you, if it’s not Me?”

As you can see, Ego can be extremely dramatic, and is a very convincing actor, director and lighting technician in the “show” starring You.

Ego’s thinking is always Past-Future, Future-Past, never Present.

Truth is always present.

Truth is where You are.  

Truth comes without good or bad, it simply is: just like Source-You.

Truth is independent of false; whereas false is always dependent on Truth.

Perhaps now, you can understand what is happening with you? It is perfectly safe for you to let go of ego, for you will create him again and again and again. Ego lives and fears the life-death cycle.

You know the Truth: You are eternal, independent of ego. Ego lives and dies, dependent on You.

 

Where does the Source/Ego dynamic come into play as far as the 5D Ascension is concerned? Is ego coming with us into that reality?

In a word: No. Part of the Ascension process is shedding the baggage, dead weight, of Ego. In fact, thinking and Past-Future thought will not resonate with the vibrational frequency of 5D.

Might this be what you are asking us?

We think we might understand the root of your question now… What you are experiencing are the death throes of your ego. Does this mean that your ego will be gone for good? Well, that’s an egoic “judgment”.

“Now” is the only eternity.

In some ways, during the transition from 3D to 5D, the “Now” will produce sensations that are akin to experiencing a fever. Cold, hot; hot, cold. In the Now, but sort of “out there” not grounded. Source-You (and most of humanity) is going to the 5D reality and wants to walk through the door into wellness and freedom and universality, but ego is throwing a temper tantrum and trying to draw you back. Did we mention drama?

So, ultimately, once you’ve ascended into 5D, this bout of fever, drama, intensity, “feelings” will not even be a distant memory. Your ego is waiting for you on this side, and its “image” will be vaguely familiar, though not at all recognizable, and your feeling of connectedness will be complete—without any fear or thought of the possibility of loss. (More 3D words.)

We enjoy receiving your letters and we are so encouraged by your strength during this crazy journey! It’s a first for all of us!

 


Reconnecting and Re-aligning – More Productive than Being Busy!

I have been meaning to write in this blog for a long time, but as you know, time keeps ticking along, and we have a tendency to busy ourselves with doing. Or, more honestly stated, I tend to busy myself with tasks. Things I want to do, things I think I need to do, and then things I have to do before I get to doing the things I want to do. Then, you get sick, or you take on a new project that eats up all your time, and so on.

So, as I do on most days, I woke up early to get started with my day. Because I have a day off, I clicked off my alarm clock and remained in bed–with a resolve to feel good before “getting busy” with doing. I thought of things that put a smile on my face: puppies, a field of endless flowers, blue sky, the beach, you get the idea.

Why couldn’t I stay in a state of Feel-Good?

Giacometti in Lugano - photo by C.T. LunaAs it turned out, I realized I had a really hard time sustaining those thoughts! Some way, some how, the feel-good thought would slide downhill into a pit of writhing, wiggling, niggling thoughts that wanted to get started with ticking away at my to-do list. (“First I could go this, but then I should make sure to do that, and before I do that, I should really…”)

Yes, checking off items from my To-Do list makes me feel accomplished. It makes me feel good. So, the Universe (actually my own manifestative Source Energy) hears that — and says, “Okay, let’s send her some more stuff to do, so she can check it off and feel good!”. So what happens?

I get more stuff to do.

Two, three or even four more ideas append themselves to my To-Do list. It’s insane, I know!

My mind and body are out of whack, because really no human body can really keep up with the speed of thinking. And when my fast-thinking thoughts take control of the wheel, my body cries, “No Mas!”

Sure enough, I have been dealing with a pesky cough for about two weeks.

It’s time for Re-alignment.

I know this is true because I am generally a healthy person. Not to mention, this information was confirmed — almost too coincidentally, when I ended up fully engrossed in the chapter called, “Perspectives of Health, Weight, and Mind” of Jerry and Esther Hicks’ The Essential Law of Attraction Collection (always in my Kindle!) when I opened up to the page I left behind months ago. (Side note: Six or so months ago, I was completely bored by this section, when my health and wellness was in perfect alignment. In fact, it is why I put the reading down.)

How to re-align? How to reconnect? I thought you’d never ask.

Immersing yourself in river Töss - photo by C.T. Luna1) First, come up with your own plan. This is so important, because it is essentially how you crystallize your contract with You. This also means that if your plan was inspired by an outside source, a good friend, the Dalai Lama (or whatever!), that’s perfectly okay. The point here is that the plan is going to be implemented by you, so it needs to jive with the tools you have in your toolbox, or the ingredients you have in your kitchen.

In my case, my plan is two-fold. First, I will take time to Feel Good when I don’t cross things off my list, as well as when I do cross things off my list. And, at the end of the day, my plan is to declare how happy I am that those things weren’t crossed off my list, because it allows the Universe to take care of it for me! (This last point is a secret double-whammy, because one of my issues involves feeling like I need to do everything for myself. So, from now on, I can let go and have an open hand to receive!)

The other part of the plan is to take more time outs and enjoy them fully–without effort! In two words: Have Fun. This means, no clocks or cell phones. It means, being fully in-the-moment, whether it’s conversing with a friend (or my sweetheart), enjoying the wait for the bus (especially when it’s cold), reading a book or meditating. It’s about noticing a moment’s spontaneity and going with it!

2) Don’t worry about your plan, just immerse yourself in it. This is your plan, this is your contract with yourself, and it is a living, breathing document (just like your Akashic Records).

Did you forget to do something in your plan? Re-write the terms of engagement and implement! For example, say you planned to spend 1-minute every hour remembering the things that made you feel good. Then, you realize you made it all the way to lunch without implementing the plan. That’s okay! Just change it to be something you can do Now that you remember! (Change it to: “With every bite that I take out of this delicious sandwich, I’ll remember one thing that made me feel good today!” Voilà!)

3) Take at least five minutes out of your day to be silent with yourself. The word “meditate” and “meditation” can be loaded with effort, but that’s essentially what being silent with yourself is. You may find that your innermost self can freely communicate with you. Listen. And feel good. Because you’re re-aligning and re-connecting.


Picking the short straw on your life’s calling

A few months ago, I received word in an Akashic reading conducted by FreerSpirit.com that one of my big responsibilities during this lifetime would be in the realm of fair and transparent wealth distribution. This information really resonated with me, while at the same time putting me in a real panic about what all that really meant.

In this 3D illusion-reality, I would not be the ideal candidate for working on this. My résumé is a patchwork of experience in languages and advocacy communications — not banking and finance.

Mind you, in the work I have done, I have been committed to issues and causes that would help lead people to an understanding of the inequities in our current socio-political systems. I would find and prime spokespeople for their on-air appearances and write speeches for fundraisers… those sorts of things. All the while, I would read the newspaper and keep track of what was happening on the internet. I enjoyed my politics and economics like the next guy, but I was (am) a regular Jill — just a spectator of the show that was being played out before me.

Lights, Camera, Zürich! photo by C.T. Luna

Finding myself in the financial center of things…

And then I found out that I was actually supposed to be a player in this show…

But, Banking? Really? Little ol’ me?

Yes, really. In an email conversation with Jen, she asked me casually how this information was settling into me (that this was what my higher self had chosen for me in this lifetime). That was about a month after her initial reading — and, to sum it up in a couple of words: it wasn’t.

Jen joked with a sympathetic tone that she understood that it must feel like pulling the “short straw” and thinking “oh, damn, why couldn’t I have picked clean air and water?” And the funny thing was, while I understood what she meant, I totally realized that I couldn’t have picked clean air and water — that fair and transparent wealth distribution is really the only team I’m supposed to be on. :-)

I had been googling the words “fair and transparent wealth distribution” in my browser’s search field since that first reading. And I was discovering all sorts of interesting things. Names of banks and so-called non-government organizations kept cropping up in the issue of the status quo. These were the very same international “non-government organisations” (NGOs) that my parents had been working for during all my childhood!

These NGOs were telling us that they are doing good things for the developing world — providing loans to nations, so they could build infrastructure for development and grow their economies.

Today, we know that these very NGOs play a larger role in manipulating the power structure of the world’s various economies and politics, so that the cabal can continue to retain their dynastic reign over humanity. (For example, they are the organizations that make side-deals with independent countries to adopt policies that permit other (developed) nations to set up military bases there.)

More importantly, for me, the flame of insight started to burn more brightly. I could finally see the “logic” in choosing my family that led a borderless existence, one that exposed me to (and appreciate) so many cultures and religions that it can be difficult for me to understand how people identify with the concept of “nationality” in the separatist sense.

Okay, so I still don’t know what my next steps are to “fulfilling my destiny” or at least “living up to my purpose” — but I do know that it is up to me to respond to this calling. And I also know that I called it. Knowing this helps. A lot.

So what do I do now?

I find myself asking that question all the time lately. I wish I had a ready answer — but I think not having a ready answer is sort of the point. I am supposed to be asking myself that question. Intuitively, I’m also sensing that when the question does arise, I’m actually “supposed” to BE — and not do.

In these pauses — these moments where I put “doing” on hold and allow myself to “be” — I have found clarity of intelligence, where there is complete understanding without doubt. Only in the peace that comes in this state can I come upon all the knowledge I need to do whatever it is I’m “supposed to be” doing. When I allow myself to find silence in the “I don’t know” I allow the “Do” to be as still as the “Be”.

Therein lies my understanding of what fair and transparent wealth distribution really means: We are wealth. We are the same — we are all priceless and valuable beyond our imaginations — we are all here to save the world and save ourselves, and we all here doing exactly what we chose to do. Yes, my résumé, as strange as it appears, is the straightest (most perfect) line between what my Higher Self set out to do and what my current-reality-self is doing. And I think the same can be said for just about anyone reading this.


Lee Harris: “More peace in having no drive at your work”

Storchbruecke, photo by Cynthia LunaAs you may have already read, I asked my guides at the end of last month if they may want to share a forecast for April 2015 with you. They were more than willing, and it was exciting for me to be a part of this process of seeing into the insights that they shared.

Truth be told, I have to visit my blog just about every day, because I can’t remember what was said — and I also find that every time I read it something different stands out. Last week, I made it a point to remember to wear a necklace with a small, flower-shaped pendant that I have from many years ago. (This is a big deal for me, because I practically never, ever wear jewelry.)

It was this small “thing” that, surprisingly to me, made me pause to recognize the strength that comes in the stillness of beauty daily.

Now, mind you, the only time I looked at it was when I removed it from my jewelry box to put it on in the morning. But it was as if this moment’s acknowledgement had a ripple effect throughout my day.

At the office, I started noticing other beautiful things and moments, like a coworker’s new belt buckle (I made his day commenting on it, because it was new, and he wasn’t sure if it was worth the money) or the clarity of another coworker’s whistle (we ended up showing each other a couple of salsa moves). Another coworker pointed at the tiny flower at my throat and said, “what a pretty necklace, is it new?” :-)

Even the Universe wanted to get in on the action and delivered a couple of rapturously beautiful sunrises — with amazing, billowy red clouds against the dark silhouette of a nearby hill. The Universe also delivered with an amazing choreography of afternoon weather, with a downpour right before my having to leave the office, right after my stepping into the bus and with unrelenting fervor for the entire time I was in the train until I had to step out of the train to walk home. Despite a rainy, April-shower week, I did not open my umbrella once!

This point segues into another lovely forecast presented by Lee Harris Energy for April 2015, which resonated with me. I think you’ll enjoy it too.

In one part of the video, he mentions our Western, “driven society” and how this April “there will be more peace in you around having no drive.”

Boy, did that resonate with me! Just a couple days ago, I finally told my husband that I won’t be applying for jobs anymore (at least not for a little while anyway). And the reason for this was not anchored in resignation, it actually came from  acceptance for where I am Right Now — because, as unchallenging as my day-to-day job may be, I do experience joy there, and connectedness, especially when I home into the silent, strong, beautiful center…!!

This point merges into Harris’s earlier point, which is that when you find your Purpose in your Self, then your Purpose in your work will also emerge. (Or, you and the Universe will “co-conspire” to deliver the work that aligns with that vibration.)

How liberating!